Anamnesis in Motion
(re)introducing the writing project
(The original title of Autoimmune In Practice, upon migrating to the platform ,was Anamnesis in Motion. I changed it in order to optimize SEO)
"Anamnesis" (plural anamneses)
The ability to recall past events; recollection.
(theology) The remembrance and celebration of God’s works.
(medicine) A patient's account of their medical history.
(epistemology) The recollection of innate knowledge acquired before birth.
(rhetoric) The mention of the past.
I'm concerned with the upwelling memory of the movements within. The history of illness and healing unfolds from birth until now and beyond. I write as an active response. The flowering river of experience puts me in relationship with the present moment, always influenced by the past. Motion is a reminder of change and, in listening, stillness.
Anamnesis in Motion is my account of autoimmune remission. The telling of the story. The emergent fact of illness lived over time, recounted to a witness (you, my dear reader). It’s a true record of my life. The truth? My truth, anyway, exists only in movement. Anamnesis is a laying down of the facts. Writing the word, I shiver at all it brings up.
The English language gets the word anamnesis from Ancient Greek ἀνάμνησις (anámnēsis) “remembrance”, "a calling to mind", "a recollection of prior life." It is composed of ana, meaning "upward, up in place or time" & "again, anew", and mein, which may be related to Sanskrit "manas" (mind, spirit), "munti" (sage). There's some speculation about whether mein is also the root of the Greek memona ("I yearn"), mania (madness), and mantis (seer).
24 years after the diagnosis of chronic immune thrombocytopenia, I still bleed in excess. This body still racks up bruises that take weeks to disperse. Right now I have bruises of questionable origin on both my tensor fascia latae where they run over the greater trochanters. On the back of my left thigh, the lower part of my right inner thigh, my left calf, and my right ankle. Why? How? From where? At least one of them is from sleeping funny, the accumulated weight of my left knee resting in one spot on my right leg creating a bruise. One is from walking, being on my feet too long. One is definitely from sitting too long. Probably two of them are from scrapes when picking up or putting down a bag. My truth is that living within autoimmune remission means that I am always negotiating the signs and symptoms of bleeding.
"In", from the Proto-Indo-European root "en" as in "enter", entrance, intro, introspection, introduction. It may also be the root of the Sanskrit "antara" (interior), Greek "endon" (within), and Latin "intra" (inside). This one seems straightforward enough.
It is for the love of life that I keep sharing, and I do my best to share my practice with anyone who is interested. That practice is an attempt to find peace within change, to live the story of motion and fly on the wings of the storm. Anything can happen. I take each new bruise, each bout of fatigue, every sign and symptom in stride and ask: what may I learn here?
Motion, then. "Motion" is from Latin, “mōtiō”, a process of movement, changing place, continuous variation of position. Also, shivering, or an expedition. In philosophy, it is also related to the Ancient Greek κίνησις (kinesis): any change. Traditionally of four types: generation and corruption, alteration, augmentation and diminution, and change of place. Change of all types is our concern here.
Through food, herbalism, and embodiment practice, I have attained a stable health-related-quality-of-life beyond all medical expectations. I have not taken a pharmaceutical drug or seen an allopathic doctor since March 2022. But the truth inherent to motion is that I may lose it all tomorrow. I will not count the ways, anything could happen. What goes up must come down.
The medical anamnesis is usually delivered by a patient to a professional. Like a confessional, it happens in a cloistered room, in private, where no one else may eavesdrop on that most shameful sin—illness. Whether of the body/mind or both makes little difference.
The story's rough, non-linear, haphazard pieces are put back together as they arise in memory. Or the narrative's presented from a file folder—a thick document containing dates, tests, results, theories, prescriptions, surgery reports, specialist recommendations. The precise, living archive of the patient's ongoing quest for understanding. An attempt by logic to track what is happening in the body.
What for? To heal, of course. To be done with it. To go back to the way things were before. Allegedly. To forget that any of this ever happened. To stick that box of papers in storage and never look at it again. We hope. It happens sometimes, but for the most part, that’s not how motion works.
There’s no going back to the way things were. Passage through the realm of sickness leaves traces that are not shed like a set of old trousers. Even to return to a state of health is a spiral staircase, covering the same ground at new levels. The whole experience alters life for the rest of your days.
What a gift. A change in perspective is always welcome, and we're meant to share gifts. To keep the anamneses quiet is a selfish act. That would keep them big, as if they could control my life. But it turns out my stories aren't anything special. My life is nothing out of the ordinary. And that's why I talk about it. I have had a diagnosis. I have been sick. Some days I'm full of energy, some weeks I'm covered in bruises.
So my anamnesis is a gift I offer to these pages. In it, I include all the meanderings and wonderings that bring me closer to some truth about this body. To speak of iteration, of change, of experimentation. To story the movement of the breath. To feel awe catch behind my eyes and weep with joy or sorrow. To wonder aloud about the cells, the small ones. To bask in life itself.
Next time: Herbalism, Kinesis, Vata.